The Ramblings of Amazingness by Jenny J Bean

Just another weblog

Shifting Gears… June 7, 2010

Filed under: Randomness — The Ramblings of Amazingness By Jenny J Bean @ 11:00 pm

I must have killed 25 fruit flies today. I always feel really bad killing them, but they pretty much continue to multiply in your house if you don’t… I always get this creepy feeling that they are going to multiply and come after me for massacring their cousins… eek.

Four days and counting until my 25th birthday… double eek.

I’m ready to go back to being a full time actor. I think I’m pretty done letting non-acting work suck my soul away. Now let’s see if I can actually do it without letting the other things take precedent. I didn’t move to New York to push papers, be yelled at be building managers, babysit employees, or to be a sounding board for everyone and their mother’s opinion of the US government when I never did and still don’t really care just to collect a paycheck. (Although, admittedly, the paycheck is nice.) I’m trying to find a constructive way to ‘funnel’ my type A personality into forwarding my acting career instead of into these temporary ‘just for a paycheck’ jobs. Money is great, but I can make money in any city in the world doing any random job. It’s officially time to stop thinking of my acting career choice as ‘a la carte’ to the rest of my life… I moved to and live in New York to act, and I’m clean out of excuses not to give it my all. So here I go… more on this to come as I figure out how to make this happen…



Overriding the Blah June 4, 2010

Filed under: Randomness — The Ramblings of Amazingness By Jenny J Bean @ 11:52 pm

Just watched the Betty White episode of SNL… sooooo funny! And watching Tina Fey take the ‘census’ totally made my day!!! Headed to hopefully close out a building for the census in 1/2 hour. I really hope we are able to. It would make my life so much less stressful.

Went to the meeting– not over yet, but definitely in the home stretch–

Going to see a show tonight. I’m so excited to get out of the house for a reason other than work! The next few weeks: working (a rotating schedule of 3 jobs); going to Texas for for 2 days; my official ‘I’ve lived a 1/4 century’ birthday; 3 birthday dinners; 1 birthday party; a dinner party; “Take a Freshman to work day” (more on this later); a 10 day trip to Israel; my aunt, uncle, and grandparents come to play in the city… lots of fun coming! YAY!

Just got back from coffee and a show tonight with a friend from college and ran into another friend. Lots of smiles and stories. And the show was pretty good too… having a good time and trying actively to pull myself out of the funk I’m in by planning fun things… it seems to be working– for now. 🙂



Running. In a Whirlpool. June 1, 2010

Filed under: Randomness — The Ramblings of Amazingness By Jenny J Bean @ 10:07 pm

I’ve disappeared into a black hole. I guess, metaphorically speaking, it’s more like a whirlpool. I’m continuously moving and moving and moving, yet somehow still trapped. In my room. Out of my room. In my work. In my life. In my head… I don’t really have much to do or say when I feel like this. My thoughts run rampant, yet I have no desire to record them– because that means dealing with them, and sometimes it’s easier and healthier not to. I sort of just have to ride it out…. It’s that weird contradicting feeling of wanting to run and run and run but with no apparent will or reason to do it.

I ran. Literally. To the lighthouse on the Island– and laid down in a really cushy spot of grass and stared up at the few stars, clouds, and airplanes in the sky. It felt really intensely amazing for that moment. It was just me and the world. Then, when I made my peace, I turned around to run home. I didn’t really want to go home but there was no where else I wanted to be either. I guess if I had a car and was still in Dallas, this is the point where I would drive until I got tired and turn around and come home. Once, when I was 17 or 18, I drove to lord-knows-where Texas and back. It never felt quite as good as it should have– running to nowhere for no purpose– but it always felt right in those first few moments when I turned the key and started driving. It did today too. I get caught somewhere between the beauty of the freedom I find in the incredible, beautiful night with the lampposts that look like they were poached off the set of ‘Singing in the Rain’ next me on one side and the stunning view of Manhattan skyline over the East River on the other– and at the exact same time, fear that no amount of freedom, breathtaking or not, will ever be good enough.

If I wrote songs, this is the point where my life lyric would be something like “somehow I’m climbing and I’m falling but never I leave the ground…”


Halloween… in May… in Chicago… May 26, 2010

Filed under: Randomness — The Ramblings of Amazingness By Jenny J Bean @ 11:41 pm

Okay. So, I’m totally not in the mood to write, but I have to tell you about yesterday. I went to Chicago for the day to the Sweets and Snacks Expo. My roommate and I decided to go on a whim after we watched ‘How It’s Made’ on TV. It was an episode about how candy is made (Milky Ways). They did an interview at this candy convention about the candy. I said “where do they have a giant candy convention? It’s got to be in New York…” One of my roommates, being the information spout that she is, Googled it and discovered that it is in Chicago every year and that it was actually this week. So we went. We figured, why not? My roommate was already going to be in Chicago last weekend for her tour, and I needed a break– desperately. I got on a plane at 6:45am and got on the plane back at 5:15pm. We had an amazing breakfast in Downtown Chicago and went to the convention at the biggest convention center I’ve ever seen– McCormick Place.

For the first couple of hours, we were talking to people about possible ‘purchases’– after that, we gave up and basically went on a trick or treat rampage… the cool thing is, 90% of the candy is not even on the market yet. I did find some cool stuff for my party company. After 2 or 3 pieces of candy each in the morning, we were pretty much candy-ed out. We took the rest home: to eat forever/throw at everyone single person that we know until it disappears.

So worth it.

Now I’m busy cleaning out my closet and getting rid of all the clothes I’ll never wear again (there is a lot!!!) I’m looking forward to all the extra space and not putting on a piece of clothing in the morning and deciding that it doesn’t look quite right…

Off to more closet cleaning!

Jenny J Bean


Initial Dropping at VIP Check-In May 24, 2010

Filed under: Randomness — The Ramblings of Amazingness By Jenny J Bean @ 1:48 am

JJB and the VIPs for the DDAs:

Oscar winner CZJ decided to speak to the press when she wasn’t going to after she tied for best actress in a musical but She Can’t Do It Alone; her husband MD hung out 80 blocks north of Wall Street next to me in the hall waiting for his wife to finish her press interviews.
CW got mad when time ticked away on his wristwatch as he had to wait too long to walk the red carpet, so he went in through the main entrance.
SJ was In Good Company even though she arrived fashionably late, and
VD won the Drama Desk for Best Featured Actress in a play, but there was no Doubt that she deserved it. Even though she left her tickets in her hotel room.
LL was gorgeous. No story, just stunning. I might just love her, actually.
and the best one, AM snapped a cell phone pic of me and the girls behind the check in table before he went inside to thwart Peter Parker with his 8 robo-legs…. AM, if you ever read this, I totally want that picture!!!

Get ’em all? I’m still a little bit shell shocked… I haven’t been this celebrity-shocked since JA asked me and my friends which musical we thought deserved the award at the dress rehearsal for the Tonys in ’06– she was indeed practically perfect in every way

Oh, and one of my favorite people in the whole world is really good friends with the woman who won Best Actress in a Play. I am sooooooo happy for her (and of course her friend, the award winner herself… who gave me a huge hug even though she didn’t know me because I was standing next to her friend…)

Time for some more smiles and some ZZZs for JJB… I’m excited for my concert tomorrow night… I’m singing Can’t Help Lovin’ That Man and Somewhere Over the Rainbow…


Hot, Red, and LOVING IT!!! May 22, 2010

Filed under: Randomness — The Ramblings of Amazingness By Jenny J Bean @ 3:52 pm

So I took a much needed ‘day off’ (and by ‘day off’ I really mean an afternoon off) I did a lot of things that I don’t usually do. I got my nails done and hair cut and dyed among other things that I don’t usually do. The problem with getting my hair dyed: when I get it dyed, I usually dye it a darker red– and it’s generally hot red right near my head for the first few days– apparently the heat off your head helps the dye take more strongly than the rest– so I end up looking like a rocker chick for 3 days after I dye it. Yesterday, I decided to dress the part. Once in a while, it’s nice to mix it up a little, and this time I had a good excuse. I think I’m now officially on a ‘do things that are good for my soul’ kick. I made breakfast for myself this morning, I am going out to spend a few hours with a friend from out of town who just called me five minutes ago AND I’m randomly going to Chicago for one day on Tuesday with my roommate… more on this later in the week… it’s for a supremely ridiculous and amazing reason. Hint: the only thing in the universe that might actually out rank Halloween in ridiculousness (and sugar shock). Oh, and she has to be my ‘spouse/significant other’ for the day in order to go… that’s going to be interesting…

I’m going to the Drama Desk Awards tonight (Drama Desks are to Tonys as Golden Globes are to Oscars). I’m really excited to be doing something exciting in the theater community… I don’t know who is going to be there, but I know that I’ll know at least 5 or 10 people…

JJ Bean


Almost Breathing Again… May 19, 2010

Filed under: Randomness — The Ramblings of Amazingness By Jenny J Bean @ 10:29 pm

Sunday- Drowning my frustrations in denial and TV marathons (very short TV marathons seeing as though I have been falling asleep 10 minutes in). That’s a little dramatic, I shouldn’t really say frustrations because they’re not really frustrations. It’s more of a void where frustration should be that has been filled with numbness and exhaustion.

Monday- Paperwork. (and Associated Press Election rehearsal for Kentucky primaries)

Tuesday- PAPERWORK!!!!! (and ELECTION NIGHT!!!– crazy, but awesome– it was the first time I was a supervisor– some major learning on the job happening…) and MORE PAPERWORK after office panic attack over the morning’s paperwork!!!!

Wednesday- Finishing paperwork after office panic attack. NAP. And, finally emerging from the depths of paperwork doom. The pile is definitely dwindling, and I was able to transfer 20 of my 26 employees to other districts. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Small, but definitely there… and I’m really excited– because I’m working the Drama Desk Awards and the Drama League Awards this weekend and I’m in the American Songbook concert next Monday night!!! I also was able to do 2 loads of laundry. It’s so overdue, it’s not even discussable. 14 loads to go… Going to continue Sunday’s ‘Weeds’ marathon as I inevitably fall asleep 5 minutes into the first episode.

Almost Breathing Again…

Jenny J Bean