The Ramblings of Amazingness by Jenny J Bean

Just another weblog

Dayenu. October 23, 2010

Filed under: Randomness — The Ramblings of Amazingness By Jenny J Bean @ 1:42 am

I really need to stop feeling the need to apologize when I have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I have this nasty habit of feeling guilty and apologizing for so many things that I do in some way: for spending money, for choosing to be an actor, for my feelings, for taking an interest in something, for not taking an interest in something, for having the last bite, for taking up someone’s time, for going to the gym, for not going to the gym, I feel guilty for lots of things that I shouldn’t, and now, I’ve officially had it. I’m good enough damn it. No apologies. Me and my non-Feng Shui room. Me and my love affair with playing the piano despite my decidedly mediocre skills. Me and my 18 jobs. Me and my fear of being disliked. Me and my not always doing things with people because I particularly like the things we’re doing, but doing them because I enjoy the company and I know they make the people I’m with happy. Me and my constant search for new perspectives. Me and my body that doesn’t always live up to my mind’s expectations. Me and my generally fuzzy view of what I really want. Me and my utter discontent with boredom. Me and my random fleeting obsessions. Me and my undying devotion, pride, and excitement for the people I care about. Me and my soul that I wear on my sleeve for anyone at all to see if they’re paying attention. Me and Me. All of me.

No more apologizing.


One Response to “Dayenu.”

  1. Christine Says:

    Hi. I love you you and you. I think you’re tops. Wish we lived close to each other, I really miss the good old days when you got me to do things outside my comfort zone. You know, like direct a 24 hour musical. Shit like that.

    Thank you for being one of a kind – a true friend always.

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